Parenting

I just had to laugh at this exerpt from a book I was reading on parenting. How many times do we yell at the kids trying to get them to do something? Oh, maybe you are the perfect parent, but I am not.
Anyway listen to this....

"Consider your own motivational system. Suppose you are driving home from work one afternoon, exceeding the speed limit by forty miles per hour. A police officer is standing on the corner, but there isn't much he can do in response. He has no car, no motorcycle, no badge, no gun, and no authority to write tickets. All he can do is scream insults at you and shake his fist as you pass. Would that cause you to slow down? Of course not! You might smile and wave as you hurry by. The officer's anger only emphasizes his impotence.

On the other hand, imagine yourself tearing thorugh a school zone one morning on the way to the office. You suddenly look in the rearview mirror and see a black-and-white squad car bearing down on you from behind. Eight red lights are flashing and the siren is screaming. The officer uses his loudspeaker to tell you to pull over to the curb. When you have stopped, he opens his door and approaches your window. He is six foot nine, has a voice like the Lone Ranger's, and wears a big gun on his hip. His badge is gleaming in the light. He is carrying a little leather bound book of citations that you have see before-last month. The officer speaks politely but firmly, "Sir I ahve you on radar traveling sixty five miles per hour in a twenty mile per hour zone. May I see your driver's license please? The officer doesn't scream, cry or criticize you. He doesn't have to. You become putty behind the wheel....Why are you so breathless? It is because the course of action that the police officer is about to take is notoriously unpleasant. It will dramatically affect your future driving habits....

Six weeks later you go before a judge to learn your fate. He is wearing a black robe and sits high above the courtroom. Again, you are a nervous wreck. Not because the judge yells at you or calls you names-but because he has the power to make your day a little more unpleasant.

Neither the police officer nor the judge need to rely on anger to influence your behavior. They have far mor effective methods of getting your attention. Their serenity and confidence are part of the aura of authority that creates respect. But what if they fail to understand that and begin to cry and complain? What if one of them says, "I don't know why you won't drive right. We've told you over and over that you can't break the law like this. You just continue to disobey no matter what we do." Then getting red-faced, he adds," Well, I'll tell you this, young man, we're not going to take this anymore. Do you hear? Believe me, you're going to regret this...."

I thought this was a great example of commanding authority over a kids in a kind non-nagging way. Sometimes I give my kids way to many chances to obey, when in reality they aren't obeying if they don't do it WITHOUT CHALLENGE,WITHOUT EXCUSE, AND WITHOUT DELAY.

So we all train our children to obey....but how? Are we training our children to obey only after I have yelled, pleaded or threatened? Are you/I training our children to obey only when they wish to? or not to obey at all?

Well, I could go on and on....parenting is so hard!